The First Born Son

Last Monday night we celebrated the 8th birthday of Anish, the little boy in my host family. We even got a little Mountain Dew (and for all who would care to know, I haven't had a Coke in 2 weeks!) and special "mystery" meat for dinner. Nepali cuisine is mostly vegetarian, with the exception of Friday nights when we seem to get chicken and other times like this when we ate goat! It grossed me out for a just a second, thinking of all the goats I see walking down the street, but once I realized that it was the same thing as mutton (which I've never had, but it just seems a little more civilized) and that I had already had several bites and that in all actuality it was very good, I got over the goat thing.

I love the little kid---he is so darn cute---but I will be the first to admit that he is spoiled. For example, he received portions of 2 different cakes from a local bakery. I guess normally 1 big cake would be ordered from a shop but something happened (like the bakery was closed or something). Well when Anish realized that there were just 2 little cakes, he flew into this huge tantrum. Manisha and I were laughing because it was so ridiculous. She said that she and her sister don't ever get any cake for their birthdays. When I asked why, she said it's because he's the son (in this case he is the first born and the one and only).

A few days earlier he had accompanied his father to a party where his father was honored for donating blood so many times. (When I was telling the dad that I donated from time to time, he said that he would take me in about a month. What do you think? Should I trust myself donating blood here? They probably actually need it so much more here than in America, even though I think so many people that truly need health care never receive it. FYI: Nepal has the 3rd highest infant mortality rate in the world and there is 1 doctor for every 12,000 people.) Anyway, Anish returned from the party in this beautiful traditional costume/dress. I couldn't believe that it was still clean or that his mother would have even put it on him in the first place. I asked Manisha if she and Anisha had traditional dresses like that too and she laughed like, "What a silly question," and said no. She didn't go into the whole "son favoritism" thing that day, so I was just left to wonder how weird it was.

This kid is a total monkey, but since he is the only son, all preference is given to him. And no effort whatsoever is made to disguise the fact that he is the favorite and preferred child. Already it is just assumed that he will take on the all the household and financial responsiblities (as well as receive all blessings attached to that) once his parents begin to age. If only I could post a picture right now: it so humorous to look at him and think about that. All duties of religious ceremonies will also fall to him, like at his father's funeral it is only he who can light the funeral pyre at the cremation. Manisha was telling me that since the culture is so male dominated society, there is intense pressure on women to give birth to a son, and to continue bearing children until a son is born. And because there is not adequate prenatal or medical care in the country, many women have poor health for the rest of their lives after having given birth to a few children.

Manisha, to her credit, didn't really seem bitter at all, but just resigned to that's the way things are handled here, and that if you are a girl, you kind of get the shaft. However, she has told me a few times that she never wants to get married because of the hardships that wives and mothers go through; I'm sure now that this her little way of bucking the system. So sad.